my day started with the prick of a needle, a shot of some suga,r followed by three more needles. I know I sound like a wuss but this was probably the most awful thing I've been through physically and I never want to do it again. EVER!
unfortunately this is not the first of the prodding and I'm sure it won't be the last. my body hurts, yes, but my heart has been hurting for much longer. I smile big and say I'm fine but it's a lie and I'm afraid the lie is becoming evident to those around me.
I'm trying not to be a kill-joy and I truly know that everything will be fine and God is in full control, but it's hard not to feel the drowning. I know the water gets sweeter as I get to the surface but I feel stuck in the bitter depths. I need a break. I need the sunshine, no more rain.
I know this is an especially difficult time for you. I remember a time in my young life that was very similar. I doesn't seem right that others are going on with their lives and dreams when yours are not being realized. There is no other way, but to walk through it with God's help until the "sun comes out again". God truly wants to draw you close to him at times like this. Often it is the only way we reach a new level in our Christian maturity. Dig deep into His precious Word which was written for you. Fine tune your life in the Spirit.
ReplyDeleteYour true friends will give you the same you need to grieve the loss of dreams and desires. God will most certainly give you new ones. Someday when they are going through uncertainty you will be the friend that will understand and be there for them. God will give you something better than you could have ever planned for yourself if you will let him orchestrate it for you. You're in my prayers for peace, calmness, and joy.