april in all it's glory

just a few reasons why I love the month of April

Consecutive sunny days over 90 degrees

Tank tops, shorts, and the necessity of tanning lotion

Yuma County Fair
     cinnamon rolls, Indian fry bread, seeing EVERYONE you know, making fun of the retards in stilettos walking around in cow dung

WTI (Weapons Tactics Instructors)
     Marines from all over come to Yuma for training, this results in the sound of freedom jets interrupting every conversation for 6 weeks :)

BASEBALL SEASON!!!!!!!!!
     sunflower seeds, hot dogs, and months of anticipation

And finally my birthday :)

Let's do this! =)

poked and prodded

my day started with the prick of a needle, a shot of some suga,r followed by three more needles. I know I sound like a wuss but this was probably the most awful thing I've been through physically and I never want to do it again. EVER!

unfortunately this is not the first of the prodding and I'm sure it won't be the last. my body hurts, yes, but my heart has been hurting for much longer. I smile big and say I'm fine but it's a lie and I'm afraid the lie is becoming evident to those around me.

I'm trying not to be a kill-joy and I truly know that everything will be fine and God is in full control, but it's hard not to feel the drowning. I know the water gets sweeter as I get to the surface but I feel stuck in the bitter depths. I need a break. I need the sunshine, no more rain.

things I want

love- not the easy kind. the kind that makes everything hurt but you'd choose it over everything else

stability- to stay in one place for longer than 6 months

homework- distraction from everything that works toward something productive

freedom- or more the ability to be what I am without being squashed

future- there's a light at the end of this tunnel but it's really faint still

I want to be what I'm going to be

unexpected, wonderful night

I had heard wind (pun intended) of this wind symphony orchestra performing in town tonight. usually I don't subject myself to these random musical performances in Yuma, AZ but I heard this was supposed to be really good. Once I figured out where they were performing I headed up the hill.

It was in the Lutheran Church around the corner from my parents' house that I have passed a hundred times in my life and never gone in. The building is beautiful and full of lots of white hair. Yep, that's right. I was the youngest one in there but for some reason old people really love me so I knew this was gonna be fun :D

Tonight I experienced the Concordia University Chicago Wind Symphony. They had a beautiful repertoire. Everything from Sousa to Whitacre to Bach. It was wonderful and ended up being a true blessing musically. I'm glad I "subjected" myself to this.

The only thing missing was someone to share it with that appreciates this stuff to the depths that I do.

ideal homework

So when I had my strong desire to color, my mom gave me the sample pages for her sunday school class' lessons.

I'm spending my saturday night coloring the life of Moses =)

eat my words

Have you ever eaten your words?

Well today I did, but a funny thing happened. By the end of it I wanted to feed them to that someone again.

There comes a point when you have to stop assuming the worst and see that some people just want to be a part of your life to be a help.

I don't ask you how you're doing to be nosy and malicious. It's not for personal gain.

I don't pry. I care

Let me care

rewind

 back to the days of inside jokes, full body hugs, orange flip flops and lakes, high fives with lifeguard tubes, ipod exchanges, violin swaps.......innocence


I miss my friend


I miss you